July 10th, 2010

Oh my goodness! i dont even know where to start when i try to recap and describe all the many reasons why yesterday was the perfect day. Let me start off by saying I owe a lot of apologies. I cannot believe I doubted the people I love. They showed me how much they love and care about Peacey and I. They surprised me soooo good yesterday. Fatty I believe was the planner, the main brain of it all. Her and Khalil worked magic. I dont know who did what but everyone played an important role in making my day so perfect. I started my day tellin myself i wouldnt be sad because in my Perfect World, my babyshower would be today. I was in a bit of a funk. Then come to realize it actually happened! and it was so intimate and meaningful. Katy was there. That meant so much to me. I love her and I am going to be as a good as a friend to her as she is to me. no matter how hard. Im so grateful for her presence in my life. no dick, pussy, jerk or asshole can overshadow that fact again. There is a magnanimous power in her friendship and i fully intend to keep her in my life. Fatty. man. I love that girl. She is just awesome. she has such a unique way of making a person feel special. Khalil is such an awsesome friend. I cant believe how involved he was in making this day perfect for me. Mercilla came and I was so happy to see her beautiful smile at my shower. NIkki, Brian and Maryah, I love you all. Zikia, it was beautiful to see her too. Alex and Emily, I love you two. Maleka, I love you, im glad our relationship has become what it is now. Angelica and my Mom, Quintan and Vaughn. .. Man I love my family so much. They have been so amazing to me throughout this pregnancy and I know I have been acting like an ungrateful bitch. I dont ever want to act like that again. I felt so bad yesterday when i realized how wrong I was about soo many things. I can blame my pregnancy hormones and emotions, but i would like to take full responsibility for them. I realized yesterday who and what was important. and that God blessed me with every single thing I need. Family, Friends, and Peace. Tommorrow (monday July 12th) my "hibernation" will begin. and I feel as if I can go into it now for the right reasons, in the right mindset and be at Peace. I have let go of the negativity that I have been harboring. Anger and bitterness. Lonliness and sadness. I see I am not alone and I have more support than I could ever imagine. I am about to venture into a whole new world. A world I have never stepped foot in. Its good to know that I have so many people who has got my back and who are cheering me on. I love them all so much and I couldnt have asked for a better support system. Peace will be so blessed by all the people that love her... or him. God has been so good to us and I cant believe how blind I have been. He has supplied us with EVERYTHING! As I sit and try to count my blessings, I dont even know where to start! I've been complaining about such jovial things. Magnifying them instead of magnifying God. My Creator. My Provider. My Father. My Friend. My Doctor. My Therapist. My Comfort. My Lover. My Everything. I give myself away to You, Lord. I give the life I carry within me to You. I will raise Peace the way you would have me raise him or her. These next six weeks will be a time of closeness and prayer. meditation and preparation. I am honored to be the chosen vessel to carry such a great life. I am honored by the stewardship granted to me by you. I speak life, full of abundant blessings and peace over the child in my womb. I speak life. Thank you Lord. I truly am a Daddy's Girl. I love you. and I love my whole family and my true friends. Thank you for making things clear to me.


Peace and Blessings.